Saint Expedite Offering

Saint Expedite, Saint Expedite, Saint Expedite!

Ring bell or knock three times on the altar

I call you, here and now, and pray for your intercession!

You who acts immediately, and is reliable in times of need!
You, dressed in the red and gold colors of a Roman centurion
Holding high your sacred cross, marked HODIE!
Bearing a palm frond, showing all God’s children the triumph of Spirit over matter

Come to my aid, glorious martyr! Deliver me this, my prayer and petition —

Lend me your zeal that I may approach all my daily tasks with proaction and zest

I make you offerings of poundcake, rum, and flame.

In return for your faithful service, and upon delivery of said needs, I will give you further offerings and sing your praises to the heavens, For all should know of your power and splendor!

Expedite, Leader of the Thundering Legions By the glory and grace of your Special Providence Find a way. Go forth, make it so!

This instant! HODIE, HODIE, HODIE!